moody

i am not fine now...
just because of super junior..

i still remember..
at the third day of Chinese new year 2009,
i received the news that won bin from F.T.Island gonna quit..
i was crying like hell at the time..
is the third day of Chinese new year..
so no good crying at Chinese new year..

before this..
i feel sad about DBSK...
they going to disband..
they even cancel the fans meeting at japan next year..
i know i have to keep the faith as what DBSK say..
but my heart feel so pain because of them..

and now..
my heart break because of super junior again..

before this,
ki bum didnt really involved in any activities of super junior..
i told myself,
yah, ki bum like to be an actor..
we have to respect what he choice to do..
as long as he still a member of super junior..

kang in get "freezing" by SM because he get involved in fighting with people in pub..
after that kang in didnt appear in any activities of super junior..
even though concert...
i feel sad again.. but i didnt tell anyone..
nobody going to know..

i have been fall in love to super junior more then 1 year and a half..
everyone know i in love with siwon the most..
but actually i love all 13 of them..
no matter how..
i just so in love with them..
i love to see they gather together playing around..
their smile, their joke..everything of them make me so into with them..

but whats going on now?
han geng gonna quit super junior?
and what kyuhyun said at his cy?
even though dong hae..
i feel sad to know what kyuhyun said..
if what kyuhyun said is really talking about han geng..
maybe i will forgive what kyuhyun say..
because he feel so sad to lost a member and buddies..
but maybe i will hate kyuhyun also..
why not he try to understand why han geng wanna do that?
i dont know...
i feel confuse..
i am waiting han geng come out and confirm all the thing..
i am waiting...

but my heart feel so pain...
i wanna scream out loud..
i wanna cry out loud..
my hear really pain like hell...
i wanna cry out but i cant..
i am at the office now..
my heart really pain...
like my heart get tie together...
i hate this feeling!!! so shit!!